The Pros & Cons of Eloping (And Why It Might Be Perfect for You)
Elopement today doesn’t mean running away in secret. It’s often a small, intimate ceremony, sometimes away from friends and family, chosen to fit the couple rather than tradition. Some couples dream of a big wedding with 150 guests, while others prefer something quieter, more personal, and deeply meaningful.
I’ve photographed both large weddings and intimate elopements, and neither is “better”—it’s about what’s right for you. What matters is creating a day that reflects your relationship, allows you to be present, and celebrates your love.
The Pros of Eloping
Freedom to Do Whatever You Want
When you elope, you set your own rules. Whether it’s exchanging vows at sunrise on a Scottish hillside, in a tiny chapel on Skye with just your mums and siblings, or a quick registry office ceremony followed by pancakes in New York City, the day is fully yours. There’s no pressure to follow traditions that don’t fit you, no seating charts to stress over, and no catering dilemmas. The focus is on saying your vows and enjoying the moment.
Less Stress, More Joy
Big weddings can feel like a part-time job with guest lists, logistics, flowers, catering, music, and timings to manage. Eloping removes much of that pressure. You still need to handle legal requirements and choose who will officiate your ceremony, but the rest is simple. Many couples find they feel calmer, more connected, and able to fully enjoy the day.
A Personal, Meaningful Experience
Elopements are often profoundly intimate. The focus is on each other, not on managing a crowd. You can take your time with your vows, share quiet moments, and notice the little things—like your partner’s smile or a tear during the ceremony. I’ve photographed a couple who eloped to New York City because they were exhausted by family pressures and wanted to just do it themselves. Later, they held a relaxed party on their original wedding date. They got the intimacy they craved and the celebration with loved ones without stress or politics.
Flexible Celebrations
Eloping doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate with friends and family later. Many couples elope first, then plan a casual party or reception afterwards. Whether it’s a barbecue in the garden or a small village hall gathering, the pressure is gone because the vows have already been said—you can focus on enjoying the company of those you love.
Considerations: The Cons of Eloping
Some People Might Feel Left Out
Even with careful planning, family and friends may feel disappointed if they aren’t present. Grandparents, siblings, or lifelong friends might have imagined celebrating alongside you. Honest conversations and planning a relaxed follow-up gathering can help everyone feel included and appreciated without stress.
You Miss the Big Celebration
There’s something special about seeing everyone you love in one room—the mix of friends and family, the energy on the dance floor, the shared laughter and excitement. Elopements trade that scale for intimacy. While you won’t have the large crowd, the moments you do share are often richer and more personal, allowing you to truly connect with your partner.
Extra Decisions for Later Celebrations
If you choose to host a party or reception later, there are additional decisions: who to invite, what kind of event to host, and how to make it relaxed and enjoyable. Many couples find these follow-up celebrations are incredibly rewarding, with everyone able to enjoy the day knowing the vows have already been said and the pressure is off.
Why Eloping Might Be Perfect for You
Elopements suit couples who value connection over tradition, want to avoid family drama, or feel more themselves in quiet, intimate settings. Scotland, with its breathtaking landscapes, castles, and flexible marriage laws, provides ideal locations for small ceremonies. Whether it’s a Skye elopement with close family or a quiet Highland ceremony with just the two of you, the scenery becomes a beautiful backdrop to your story.
Eloping allows couples to focus on what truly matters, avoid unnecessary stress, and create lasting memories in their own way. And remember, you can always celebrate with friends and family afterward without the pressure of a traditional wedding day.
Making the Right Choice for You
There’s no right or wrong choice. Your wedding day—whether a big celebration, a quiet elopement, or something in between—should reflect your relationship and what makes you happiest. Take time together, away from outside opinions, and decide what will let you feel most like yourselves.
Curious about elopements in Scotland? Check out our Skye elopement story with two mums and siblings joining the ceremony [link to blog].
If you’re starting to imagine how your own day could look, you can read more about me or see how other couples celebrated on my Stories page. When you’re ready, say hello. I’d love to hear about your wedding.