Just Got Engaged Over Christmas? You Don’t Need to Start Planning Yet
If you got engaged over Christmas, congratulations.
Whether it happened quietly on a winter walk, in a living room full of family, or somewhere between mince pies and bad cracker jokes, it is a moment worth sitting with. Festive engagements have a way of happening in the middle of everything. The food, the gatherings, the questions, the photos, the messages from people who somehow already want to know the date. If you are feeling excited and slightly overwhelmed at the same time, that is completely normal. Before you plan anything, here is something you might not hear very often.
You do not need to start planning a wedding yet.
Christmas engagements come with extra noise
Getting engaged at Christmas often means sharing the news immediately. You are surrounded by people you love, and the excitement spreads quickly. Along with the congratulations can come a flood of well meaning questions.
Have you picked a date?
Have you thought about venues?
What sort of wedding are you thinking?
It can feel like planning should start straight away, simply because everyone is talking about it. But there is no rush built into this moment.
There is nothing you need to book right now
Despite what social media and wedding timelines might suggest, there is no secret deadline in the days after you get engaged.
You do not need to:
Secure a venue this week
Lock in suppliers before New Year
Know what your wedding will look like yet
Most couples benefit from giving themselves a little breathing space first. Decisions made from a calm place tend to feel better later on.
The planning will still be there when January rolls around.
Let yourselves enjoy being engaged
Engagement is its own season, and it is often shorter than people realise. Before it turns into logistics, spreadsheets and opinions, it can be really grounding to slow things down and enjoy what has actually happened.
Talk about the proposal.
Notice how it feels to be engaged.
Sit with the fact that you have chosen each other.
This is not wasted time. It is part of the story.
Start with conversations, not plans
When you do feel ready to think a little further ahead, the most helpful first step usually has nothing to do with booking anything.
It is simply talking.
Talking about what matters to you. Talking about what you are excited about. Talking about what already feels like too much. You do not need answers yet. You are just listening to each other.
I have written more about this in a separate post about what to do before you start planning a wedding, which focuses on communication and getting on the same page first. It is here whenever you are ready to read it.
If wedding planning already feels overwhelming, that is okay
Some couples dive into planning with energy and excitement. Others feel a quiet resistance to the noise that can surround weddings. If you are someone who values calm, presence and meaningful moments, you might not be in a rush to make big decisions. You might need more time to work out what feels right. That does not mean you are behind. It means you are paying attention. There are many ways to get married, and not all of them need to be loud or fast.
When you are ready, start gently
Eventually, there will come a point where planning feels less intimidating and more intentional. When that happens, it can help to approach things slowly and in stages, rather than all at once. I have a wedding planning blog series that is designed to be dipped into at your own pace. It focuses on timing, priorities and creating a day that feels grounded rather than rushed. It is there for later. Not as a checklist, but as support.
A quiet reminder
If you got engaged over Christmas, let this be a gentle permission slip.
You are allowed to pause.
You are allowed to enjoy this season.
You are allowed to take your time before planning anything at all.
The twinkly lights will come down soon enough.
For now, you are just engaged. And that is more than enough.