Take a Breath. This Is Where It Really Begins

You’re engaged. You’re buzzing. Maybe your nan’s already knitted bunting.

The ring’s barely settled on your finger and everyone’s asking about dates. Your phone’s full of venue screenshots. Pinterest boards are multiplying faster than you can name them. But here’s what I want you to do first. Before the spreadsheets start. Before the late-night Google searches begin. Before you fall down the rabbit hole of “rustic vintage boho chic” inspiration photos. Grab a glass of wine or a cup of tea. Sit down. Just the two of you.

After photographing dozens of weddings across Scotland, I can tell you something. The couples who feel most grounded on their wedding day are the ones who started by talking, not booking.

They didn’t rush into venues or color schemes. They sat together first. They talked about what mattered. They figured out their why before their what. And you know what? Their weddings feel different. Calmer. More them.

Why You Need to Talk Before You Plan

You’re not just planning an event. You’re making a joint memory that will stick with you forever. Think about it. This is the first big thing you’re creating together as an engaged couple. How you plan it matters just as much as the day itself. I’ve watched couples get so caught up in making everything perfect that they forget to make it theirs. They spend months stressed about napkin colours and forget to talk about what they actually want. The most moving ceremonies I’ve photographed weren’t the flashiest. They were the ones where the couple clearly showed up for each other. You could feel their connection in every moment.

That connection starts now. In your living room. Over tea and biscuits.

Here’s the thing about wedding planning. There will be trade-offs. Surprises. Moments when you need to compromise. If you start as a team, you’ll handle it all as a team. But if you jump straight into booking mode? You might find yourselves pulling in different directions when things get tricky.

The First Big Chat: What to Talk About

Get comfortable. Put your phones away. Maybe light a candle if that’s your thing.

This isn’t about making decisions yet. It’s about understanding each other. About getting on the same page before you start turning pages in venue brochures. Here are some prompts to get you started. Don’t overthink them. Just chat.

What are we most excited about?
Maybe it’s the first dance. Maybe it’s seeing your grandad cry during the ceremony. Maybe it’s finally wearing that dress you’ve been dreaming about.

What does a ‘perfect day’ look like for each of us?
Your perfect might be intimate and quiet. Theirs might be a big party with everyone dancing. Both are valid. Talk about it.

What worries us?
Money? Family drama? Looking awkward in photos? Getting overwhelmed? Name your fears. They’re probably smaller once you say them out loud.

Who do we want to celebrate with?
Close family only? Everyone you’ve ever met? Something in between? This shapes everything else.

What are our top 3 priorities?
Amazing food? Great music? Beautiful photos? A stunning venue? You can’t have everything at the top of the list.

What are we okay letting go of?
Maybe you don’t need fancy flowers. Maybe the cake can be simple. Knowing what you can skip makes room for what you can’t.

Start a wedding notebook. Not just for budgets and timelines. Use it to record little dreams you don’t want to forget. That random idea about sparklers. The song that came on the radio that made you both smile.

The Fun Bit: A ‘This or That’ Game

Time to lighten things up. This isn’t a test. There are no wrong answers. It’s just a way to spark ideas and maybe some laughs.

Print this out if you want. Add your own questions. Make it yours.

This or That?

The Basics:

• Indoors or Outdoors?
• Winter wedding or Summer sun?
• Morning ceremony or evening do?
• Sit-down meal or hog roast and beers?
• Intimate gathering or big party vibes?
• Weekend celebration or midweek magic?

The Vibe:

• Rustic barn or posh hotel?
• Live band or DJ spinning the tunes?
• Formal speeches or casual toasts?
• Traditional ceremony or something wild and free?
• Classic white dress or something with colour?
• Black tie or come as you are?

The Fun Stuff:

• First dance or straight to the ceilidh?
• Wedding cake or cheese tower?
• Confetti or bubbles?
• Photo booth or roaming photographer?
• Sparklers or fireworks?
• Open bar or signature cocktails?

The Personal Touches:

• Handwritten vows or traditional words?
• Walking down the aisle or meeting halfway?
• Ring bearer (human) or ring bearer (dog)?
• Flowers everywhere or greenery only?
• Wedding favours or charity donation instead?
• Professional hair and makeup or DIY glam?

The Adventure Level:

• Castle in the Highlands or village hall?
• Elopement just the two of you, or all your cousins and aunties?
• Destination wedding or hometown celebration?
• Camping afterwards or fancy hotel suite?
• Honeymoon straight away or mini-moon first?
• Surprise elements or stick to the plan?

The Quirky Ones:

• Bagpiper or string quartet?
• Ceilidh dancing or disco classics?
• Fish and chips or fancy canapés?
• Polaroid guest book or traditional signing?
• Late night bacon butties or wedding cake for pudding?
• Vintage car or walk to the venue?

Don’t stress if your answers are different. That’s the point. Talk about why you picked what you picked. You might surprise each other.

Be Realistic, Together

Let’s talk money. I know, I know. It’s not the fun part. But it’s better to have this chat now than when you’re staring at a quote that makes your eyes water. You don’t need a final number today. But you do need honesty about what you’re comfortable spending. And what your priorities are.

I’ve seen £2k weddings that felt like a fairytale. I’ve seen £50k ones that felt like stress in a suit. The difference? The couples knew what mattered to them. Avoid the comparison trap. Social media shows highlight reels, not behind-the-scenes stress. Your wedding doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s. Trade-offs are normal. If you want an expensive photographer (good choice), maybe you go simple on flowers. If the venue is your dream, maybe you skip the fancy favors.

Talk about it now. Decide together. No surprises later.

Remember: This Is a Relationship Milestone Too

Here’s something people don’t tell you. Wedding planning isn’t just about the wedding. It’s about how you plan it together. Every decision you make is practice for marriage. Compromise. Listening. Supporting each other when things get overwhelming. Celebrate the little wins. Choosing a song you both love. Agreeing on a vibe that feels right. Working through a tough conversation about guest lists. You’re building something together. Not just a wedding day. A way of being a team.

When You’re Ready… I’m Here

If you’ve had that first conversation and you’re getting clearer on your day, I’d love to be part of it. I’m a Glasgow-based wedding photographer. I work across Scotland capturing the real, unscripted moments that make your wedding yours. I’m not the photographer who bosses you around or pulls you away from your guests for hours. I’m more like a friend with a camera. Someone who notices the quiet moments others miss.

Got questions? Whether you’re still just dreaming or knee-deep in table plans, you’re welcome to get in-touch. No pressure. Just support.

Starting Your Wedding Planning Journey: Common Questions

What should we talk about first when wedding planning?
Talk about feelings before logistics. What matters to you both? What are your hopes and fears? Get aligned on the big picture before you worry about details.

Do we need a budget already?
You don’t need a final number. But it helps to talk honestly about what you’re comfortable spending and what your priorities are. Better now than later.

Is it too early to speak to a photographer?
Not at all. I often chat with couples months before they book. Sometimes just to help them think things through. No pressure. Just support.

What if we want something non-traditional?
Perfect. Those are my favorites. Whether it’s a handfasting on a cliff or a potluck in your parents’ garden, if it’s you, I’m interested.

One Last Thing

So before you rush into timelines and colour schemes, just sit. Talk. Laugh. Dream.

You only get to plan this once. Let it be a reflection of who you are, together.

The spreadsheets can wait. The Pinterest boards will still be there tomorrow.

Right now, it’s just you two. And that’s the most important part of any wedding anyway.